Amy the Hedgehog Pre-Alpha Prototype RELEASE

Featured

Y’all wanted to try it, so here it is. The thing I’ve been working on for about two years now.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE

Summary

This game takes place inside a world of dreams created by the cognition of three girls. Currently, all there is is vague outlines of areas I planned, mostly to test ideas and vibes of different places. It’s a dream exploration/metroidvania style game with Sonic Adventure-esque momentum and physics. Play as Amy or Cream and explore these dream worlds and find upgrades for the girls to allow them to do more actions. (currently only 3 for Amy, and 0 for Cream at the moment) Sleep in the bed in Amy’s room to advance the in-game day and switch between girls. There are many secrets that can only be found on certain days, so please keep an eye out for them.

In this prototype, I added a small objective – locate Amy decals featuring ZekLullaby‘s art of our favorite girl. If you find all 7, you can unlock a level select mode and debug features. There’s a hidden level or two that’s inaccessible without it, even.

Controls

CONTROLLER STRONGLY RECOMMENDED

Keyboard and mouse controls are UNFINISHED

Basic Actions:

Left Analog/WASD: Move
Right Analog/Mouse: Rotate Camera
A button / E key: Interact/Action/Confirm (in menus)
B button: Cancel (in menus)
X button / Left Mouse: Attack
Y button / Spacebar: Jump / Fly (as Cream)
Start button / ESC key: Pause Menu
Select button / TAB key: (Unfinished) Status menu

Amy Hammer Actions:

Attack while Running: Hammer Spin
Attack while in Midair: Air Hammer Spin
Hold Attack while Running: Hammer Jump (on release)

Amy Cloth Actions:

Jump on a rail to automatically use the cloth to slide down

Amy Slingshot Actions:

Right Trigger/Right Mouse: Fire Slingshot
Right Stick Click: Change Camera Side

Cream Actions

Attack while Running: Ear Spin
Hold Jump while Airborne: Fly
Right Trigger/Left Mouse while Airborne: Butt Slam

Screenshots

Thank you to EVERYONE who has supported me this whole time and encouraged me to create what I love. Thanks you to all the friends and family I bounced ideas off, who kept telling me to be myself despite everything, and stuck with me despite how strange my ideas are.

I’d especially like to thank my supportive mother Deborah, and my three lovely girlfriends, Tiffany, Kate, and Samantha.
I love you so very very much.

Bluesky is burning

So many of my friend’s accounts were just banned out of nowhere, and I’m hoping we can all stay connected here and other places at least. People who didn’t even do anything wrong besides mention loli in a playful way, people that didn’t even post porn or anything are getting banned, so I’m definitely next.

It’s really a shame, i was here thinking Bluesky was chill, but it turns out the mod team has even less chill than most subreddit moderators. It’s really bumming me out, but what can ya do… part of me is still hoping this is a big mistake and a bunch of false positives due to the influx of new users, but you never know…

I recommend alternatives like Aethy, Misskey, Baraag, etc… you can find mine in the Social Media section of my website.

I love you all, all my little sisters. We deserve better.

The various versions of “Jenny”

So, as y’all know, in 2020, I decided I needed a ‘sona to represent the “true” me. I came to a realization that, well… as a trans girl, I never got to be a kid as a girl. (Or a kid in general past age 12, but let’s not get into that) Even though I’ve since transitioned really well, it’s still a bit jarring looking in the mirror at an adult woman who was never a little girl.

So, as part of me coming out, I made Jenny. I started out calling her Jen, and made a model that I originally intended to be a loli version of myself, my idealized self. But, because I was still dealing with old “friends” (See this rant. ) I decided to give her booba and slightly weird but more adult-ish proportions. What resulted was a cute girl, but not fully “me” yet. I will l say, she definitely has a heartwarming smile, at least.

But, she wasn’t “me”…. as weird as this sounds, I feel more comfy as a preteen/early teen girl, aged 11 – 14, because that was a happy time for me. It’s also where my development was halted by trauma and bad stuffs… so I wanted to make a Jenny that reflected how I felt inside.

So, a little later, I made “Jenny 2.0” inspired by らすと’s artwork. She was a lot closer to how I want to be seen. I was still scared to mention she’s canonically 11/12 years old, but she made me so much more happy. I made a render of her based on a funny manga panel I liked directing at haters.

An unapologetically small and cute girl who didn’t give a heck if you found her nudity obscene due to her age/size. She is what she is, and exists peacefully without anyone hurting or abusing her for it. This was cathartic for me, someone who WAS abused at her age, to see her free and naked and expressing herself in her way, without being victimized by anyone. People often fundamentally misunderstand my relationship with my character. She’s a reflection of me, not an object of my personal desire. But, that shouldn’t matter, it’s none of their business anyway, so… whatever, fuck them, they can “cope, seethe and mald” as the kids say. X3

Then, something interesting happened as I started to take HRT, almost a year into my treatment, memories and repressed feelings started churning… and while I was numb and emotionally dead during the time I was Jenny’s age… things were finally catching up, 17 years later…. I had flashbacks to both good and bad things, and wept and cried a lot from acts of cruelty and acts of kindness to the small me alike. A delayed reaction, because I was numb and straight faced to protect myself back then. But… taking the hormones, turning into a woman externally after all this time… made my mind feel safe enough to finally process it. So… since I was always a bit jealous of the goth/emo girls at school for expressing themselves so freely… Jenny had a belated goth phase.

She was even edgy and a bit lewd at times.

She didn’t give a heck even more than the previous Jenny.

But, well, as I processed these feelings… i decided, since I was internally feeling things leading up into my adolescence now, I decided to make her slightly older to match. Just a few years older. So… I edited Jenny 2.0 here a bit to give her a bit of breast (kinda like how I was growing breasts IRL) and a bit of pubic fuzz, and I think I made her SLIGHTLY taller…? But either way, this is the current Jenny.

She’s still small and cute, but slightly older. This wasn’t me selling out or anything, but legitimately just me depicting my character growing with me, at least a little.

However, looking at my model, I kinda wanna make a Jenny 3.0. There’s a few things I can improve, namely her face topology.

The flow around her mouth and cheek isn’t ideal, and other anime-style characters do it much better, especially those vroid-style characters. Not to say I want to go vroid style, but I could learn a thing or two from them.

Also, her proportions. She’s like, 4 heads tall which is weird for a girl her age, unless we’re going for a particularly chibi/moe artstyle, which isn’t quite my deal.

I want her to have proportions more akin to girls from shojou anime I watch, like Kinomoto Sakura or Kurata Sana

They’re about 5 heads tall, and still really cute. Even my friend, Kayo Nishino, is better proportioned than Jenny.

So , I might work on a Jenny 3.0 one day. Maybe sometime in the winter when my butt isn’t sticking to the leather of my seat and my eyes aren’t hurting from the sunlight. (I should really invest in sunglasses)

But for now, I’m thinking about it. I need to study anime models for a while. There’s no shortage of cute anime girl 3D models online and in games, after all. X3

Anyways, thanks for listening.

The true me (VENT)

CW: Heavy stuff about child abuse, internalized transphobia/shame

I think many people misunderstand what I do, and why I make so many things involving young characters, and why I depict myself as a teenager/child so often.The truth is, I feel like I missed out on a lot growing up. Like many trans people, I denied my inner self the life she wanted, for her own safety. But even as a kid, I’ve always had a thing for nudity and nudism. So, in a way, this ‘sona I’ve made for myself, and nude modding games I grew up with, is fulfilling childhood desires/dreams I was too scared to partake in until now. It just sucks that it causes people to assume the worst of me. But the truth is, as a victim of abuse myself, I know firsthand the damage it does to you. And I’d never wish that on anyone, not even the most depraved criminal.

I believe in bodily autonomy and consent above all else, and believe my feminist beliefs are fully compatible with my art, despite many assumptions by outsiders.

I create my art because it makes me happy. I make my cute girls (sometimes boys) free to be nude or even express mild sexuality in a context free of abuse or manipulation or coercion, because in a way it’s what I wish I had back then, instead of the abuse I sustained. A lot of these characters are characters I grew up with, who I feel an emotional attachment to.

Even as young as 12, I used to wish I could modify Sonic Heroes to make Team Rose naked. Or Sonic Adventure. (That dream came true) Or any number of games I liked. But see, these feelings, they made me beat myself up internally. I treated them as “sick pervert feelings”, the same way I treated those girl thoughts, about being a girl, about being trans. I saw it all as something I could never tell anyone, that everyone would find disgusting, like when you have intrusive thoughts about murder or whatever.

But now, as an adult, I see I was wrong. I was groomed (yes, groomed) by society to hate myself and hate my natural feelings. My completely innocent feelings as a child. The feelings that were later corrupted and used against me by sick, sick adults that took advantage of me and my self-hate, deepening said self-hate for “letting” them abuse me…

So now, as an adult, I make art that reflects that more innocent state of mind, and I hate it when people conflate it with people that abused me, because no child should ever be abused. They are vulnerable and dependent, and I can’t understand how anyone would be sick enough to do that, and that includes accepted and legal abuse, such as physical violence as a tool of discipline, or emotional abuse/neglect, or grooming your child to be a mini version of you.

Even stuff like forcing your child to hug a relative, thus teaching them that their boundaries and consent doesn’t matter, I think, is abuse.

All of these, disgust me.

Yet here I am, being compared to those kinds of people because I make art of fictional characters… I wish people would understand that I have a heavy barrier between reality and fantasy, just like they (hopefully) do for things like violent games and movies. It’s not real. And I don’t know why it gives me inner peace, but it does. Being able to accept myself and the art I make, makes me feel like a whole person after a life of disassociation with my innocent past self.

About “Wild Amy”

So, as y’all have probably seen, I’ve been working on an Amy Rose fangame.

This fangame is rather mysterious to my following, so I guess I should start making posts explaining it.

First, let’s talk about the design of Amy. She’s naked, unkempt, and has long claws on her feet. She has a bit of a “feral” look to her, like she hasn’t had time to brush her hair. This is a remnant of the earlier concept of the game, where it was a survival-stealth type game. I was inspired by Metal Gear Solid 3 at the time. Originally, it was a drawing I did (hence the poor quality) of the concept of a badass survivalist nudist Amy.

Anyways, this concept existed in my head for a while, though I did post about it a bit, mostly as wishful thinking. It seemed too crazy, and I already had other projects I was working on.

But, as progress on those other projects burned out, the desire to make it grew more and more.

Then, while discussing it with my friend AngelChao, he decided to draw some concept sketches of her. I was instantly in love with the concept. I mean, look at her~

So, with newfound ambition, I asked my friend to draw me a model sheet for her. I forgot if it was paid work or not, but I surely would have paid for it.

So, being the foolishly overly-ambitious young lady I am, I got to modeling.
After much trial and error, and a lot of tweaking, she turned out exactly how I wanted.

I’m so happy with how she turned out, especially her body shape and the fact that I gave her a longer tail like her Sonic Adventure model. The original concept, after all, was that this is the same Amy from Sonic Adventure 1, maybe sometime between Adventure 1 and 2.

However, as my game continued to grow and change, I encountered a problem. The story is no longer about surviving “in the wild”, but in a world of dreams. Dreamscapes, liminal spaces, places that are interconnected in sometimes illogical or surreal ways. (Also lots of assets from Sonic Adventure 1/2, especially beta/unused stuff.) It’s like something like Yume Nikki or B3313, but for Sonic Adventure.

I even decided to make Amy (and Cream) sleep in a bed, waking up and starting a new “day” in the dreamscape.

So, what do I do? Do I rework her design I love so much, that makes her stand out?
No, I got a better idea. Maybe this Amy looks “wild” because she’s a reflection of the unpredictable nature of dreams, or maybe she’s got a more “natural” look because this is her raw self. Or, the messy hair could just be bedhead, since she’s in a dream. Either way… it works out in the end.

As a bit of a reference to the original concept, I actually decided to make the prologue/tutorial area take place in a dense “mystic ruins” type jungle.

So ah, now you know. Hope y’all enjoy what I do with this concept. ^_^